


Diamonds are A Girl's Best Friend

by sunalso



Series: Season 6 Bits and Pieces [3]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Crack, Humor, Jemma is the ocean, Trippy, s6e03, teeth are dumb
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-25
Updated: 2019-05-25
Packaged: 2020-03-17 12:36:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18965377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunalso/pseuds/sunalso
Summary: AU S6 E03. Fitz and Simmons get a trippy reunion.Beta'd by Gort (the amazing)





	Diamonds are A Girl's Best Friend

**Author's Note:**

> _A/N: A little au where it’s Fitz and Jemma that are tripping, and Daisy is sober to make sure they don’t end up naked in the Casino. There’s also nobody on Kitson chasing after Fitz and Enoch (yet) in this verse._

Were teeth supposed to feel funny?

Fitz poked at his with the tip of his tongue. They felt weird. He made a face. Why did people need so many bloody teeth anyway? And why did they have to feel so strange? Ugh.

He needed a second opinion. And probably not to have drunk that last brightly colored drink. Fitz was absolutely sure it had one of those things in it that Enoch had told him not to eat.

The lights were pretty. Jemma would like that.

“Jemma, I had a drink and need you to check my teeth.” He spun, looking for her. “Jemma?”

Oh.

Shite.

She was in the future, and he had to wait a long time before he could show her his teeth. Infinite sadness welled up inside him. Jemma might not even want to look at his teeth. He sat down on the ground, which immediately listed to one side.

Bugger.

Fitz toppled over. He was a snail. A gross, slimy, snail. He pushed himself along the floor with one foot while attempting to make snail noises.

“Don’t slip,” he told someone that walked by him, even though that alien-person didn’t bother looking at him. Because he was a snail. With teeth.

The floor was hard and probably needed a biohazard sign. Fitz hated the floor with its metal and lack of Jemma, and why was everything so loud?

What he really needed was a monkey.

A monkey would have absolutely figured this all out by now.

With his foot, he inched his way towards what looked like a more accommodating patch of floor. Under one of the tables was a bit of shag carpet in a ghastly color that tasted of cream of mushroom soup. He blinked. Did colors have a taste?

Pushing up onto his hands and knees, he crawled under the table.

There was somebody already there. Oh good, Jemma, she’d know. “Do colors have a taste? Or maybe it’s because I’m a snail. Do snails taste colors?”

Jemma’s wide eyes blinked at him.

“I have teeth,” he told her.

She reached out and jabbed his lips. He obediently opened his mouth, and she stuck her finger in. Fitz had intended to let her feel his teeth, but what he actually did was close his lips around her finger and suck.

Jemma made an absolutely delightful not-a-snail noise.

Somewhere, in the back of his brain, it occurred to him that Jemma shouldn’t be under a table in a Casino on Kitson. Which meant he had to be hallucinating. He swirled his tongue around her finger, and she moaned. It sounded very Jemma-like.

“Jemma?” he asked, the word mumbly as he spoke around her finger.

“I ate a thing I shouldn’t,” she said. “Now how am I supposed to find Fitz?”

“I’m right here.”

“Oh.” There was a pause. “Fitz?”

He reached towards her with a trembling hand and drew a fingertip up her bare arm. She was pale, and her hair was different than he’d ever seen it. “Why do you have bangs?”

“Sadness,” she said, taking a shuddering breath.

“Why are you sad?” He hated when Jemma was sad.

“Because I miss you.”

His fingers had reached her mouth. He traced her lips. “While I’m here now, but why are you here?”

“There was the future and this whole thing. I’ll explain later when I can think.” She inhaled another shaky breath. “A minute ago, you were a monkey.”

“That is so much better than a snail.” He pressed his finger into her mouth.

Bad idea. Really bad idea. Jemma’s tongue caressed him, and Fitz’s entire body lit up. His prick decided now was a great time to beg for attention, and he had to be glowing like a neon sign. Jemma moaned again as he sucked harder on her finger. His eyes dropped to her chest, there was a ring hanging there, but she was so covered up he could barely make out the outline of her breasts.

“This shirt is all wrong, and I’m really horny,” he announced.

“Me too,” Jemma’s voice was breathy even while muffled by his finger. “But what’s wrong with my shirt? I like this shirt.”

He removed his mouth from her hand. “It’s evil.” He glared at the evil shirt. “I can’t see your tits.”

Jemma let go of his finger as well as she frowned down. In a flurry of movement, the evil shirt came off, and she tossed it as far away as she could. Her bra was thin cotton, and he could see her nipples poking through the fabric.

“Better?” she asked cheerfully.

“Much.”

“Good.” Jemma launched herself at him, and somehow he ended up flat on his back with her straddling him. He palmed both her boobs, his hips slamming upwards against her core without so much as a by-your-leave.

He was touching Jemma-boobs.

“I missed you,” he told them. “Jemma, your tits are so lovely, and I don’t…deserve—”

She kissed him. Which meant he wasn’t looking at her tits anymore, but he was kissing Jemma, so that was okay. Her pussy ground against him, and he was sure he hadn’t actually been this hard before. Ever. He was granite. Or diamond.

“My cock’s shiny,” he said, breaking the kiss.

“That sounds so pretty.” She kissed his face. “I think I’m soaking through my knickers.” Jemma paused. “I’m the ocean.”

“Jemma-flavored ocean. With fish in your eyes.”

Jemma gasped, and their mouths met again, teeth clicking as he struggled to wade his tongue as far out into the Jemma-ocean as he could.

“Jemma, what are you doing?” a familiar voice hissed. Fitz ignored it because he was busy humping against his favorite ocean. “Seriously?” Fitz was pretty sure it was Daisy speaking. “I leave you alone for a couple of minutes while you’re stoned and you just…” There was a gasp. “Fitz.”

Jemma broke the kiss, though she didn’t stop grinding. “I told you we’d find him.”

“What happened to your shirt?”

“It was evil.”

“I couldn’t see her boobs,” Fitz clarified.

“Sure,” Daisy nodded. He was glad she understood. “You two aren’t…more naked than I think you are, right?”

Fitz looked into Jemma’s fathom-deep ocean eyes as a huge smile spread across her face.

“You have the best ideas, Daisy,” Jemma said. Her hands went for her trousers at the same time he went for his.

“Oh my god, no. Don’t make me get a hose.”

“We do not have a hose,” Enoch said from somewhere close by.

Daisy sighed. “I…know that.” She grabbed Fitz’s shirt and pulled at him. “Just help me get them out from under here before they get naked.”

With Enoch’s help, Fitz found himself back on his feet, Jemma beside him, far too quickly.  The room spun.

He focused on Daisy. “Jemma needs my prick. It’s diamond.”

Daisy made a face with her nose wrinkled up. “Ew, too much information, space-Romeo.”

“There are fish inside my eyes,” Jemma said.

“Why are there fish in an illogical place?” Enoch asked while Daisy frantically gestured with her hand across her throat.

“Fitz makes me the ocean,” Jemma replied, voice bubbly.

Daisy sighed. “Back to the ship with both of you. Where I’m going to lock you in a small, sound-proof room for a week.”

Fitz nodded, there was nowhere else in the universe he’d rather be. He turned to Enoch as Daisy herded them towards the exit. “I was a snail,” Fitz announced.

“And what are you now?” Enoch asked.

“My husband,” Jemma replied tartly.

Fitz’s head snapped towards her. “I got upgraded!” he said gleefully, though he hated not remembering getting married.

“Hurry up.” Jemma grabbed his arm and walked faster. “Before you turn into a monkey again.” Her face squished up. “It was adorable.”

“I found you,” he said. He’d almost forgotten what being happy was like.

“No.” Jemma’s grip tightened. “I found you.”

“You found each other,” Daisy said. “Congrats, now back to the ship before I have to hear one more thing I wish I hadn’t.”

“The carpet was mushroom-soup flavor-colored,” Fitz said. “But Jemma’s pussy is going to taste like ocean.” He wiggled his tongue at her, and Jemma’s nipples tightened further as she moaned.

Daisy sighed. “Small room. Locked.”


End file.
